product review

Put Another Way: It’s Like the Bud Lite Lime of Legitimate Alcoholic Beverages.


well, summer is in the offing, if not very nigh upon us, and it is with considerable chagrin that i get around for the first time to talking about vinho verde. i mean, shit. for those of you who don’t know, vinho verde is a Portuguese “green wine” so named for its youth and brightness and freshness, as it is a wine produced specifically to be utilized young, within a year of bottling. i had originally been under the impression that another aspect of this “greenness” had to do with the grapes being harvested early, contributing to the light, tart, taste of the wine, but no one has been able to confirm this for me, so don’t go running your mouth about that or someone may well slap the cracker out of it for your impudence.

anyway, the reason i bring it up is because it’s fantastic, great for daytime drinking, which the summer is all about, and quite versatile, since it tends to be on the dry, crisp side. think citrus and maybe green apples, nothing too sweet, or for that matter, nothing remotely complex. it is simple and friendly and more importantly, cheap. there are 3 brands that one sees regularly at the SAQ (Aveleda Fonte, Gazela, and Campo da Vinha), and they all ring in under 11$

there’s even a slight suggestion of pétillance (fizziness – although quite short of being actively bubbly), which with all the above allows me to say that (apologies to those of you who cannot appreciate the value of this comparison, but my conscience is clean) it is, veritably,

the Bud Lite Lime of white wines.

okay, so hear me out. i, like every other self-respecting beer-drinker was horrified initially, and nauseated secondly, when i heard about and then tasted Bud Lite Lime in a swimming pool on the roof of a 5-story gay bar, whenever that was, like two summers ago when it first hit the street? then in a fiat of marketing genius (or maybe it was an accident?) the summer of 2010 saw the south-west (of Montréal) flooded with dirt cheap BLL, like 5.99/6 pack, and pretty much as soon as the punk/hipster/miscellaneous scumbag population realized that it actually just tastes like Perrier poured into a bottle that previously contained beer with a twist of lime, and that its slightly lower alcohol content was well suited to the 14-hour drinking stints that the oppressive humidity of the Montréal summer renders mandatory, well, the fate of our collective dignity was sealed.

i did, for the record, hold snobbishly out for some time, and whether it is to my credit or not, it was actually the sheer comedic deftness of Terminal Laughter’s “Miller Chill and Bud Light Lime Casual Man-ifesto” that finally put the can in my hand.

for myself, at the risk of saying something stupid and grossly inaccurate, the piece brought to mind what was once written of Ford Madox Ford’s The Good Soldier: “As in most great works of comic irony, the mechanical structure . . . is controlled to a degree nothing less than taut, while the structure of meaning is almost blandly open, capable of limitless refractions.”

you know, a real page-turner.

and i would have linked you to it if it didn’t appear that those dudes forgot to pay their Internet Humour bill, and now no longer exist.

so in the meantime, bear the both of them in mind for purposes of delight and refreshedness.


5 thoughts on “Put Another Way: It’s Like the Bud Lite Lime of Legitimate Alcoholic Beverages.

  1. i am with you, my friend. both of those are the quintessential summer beverages, though someone told me last night that bud light limes are not a very good time as far as shotgunning is concerned… i guess i am not really surprised. i shotgunned a PBR dry last night, though, and that is one of my new fav things. thanks for the tip.

    • stillcrapulent says:

      oh, i mean it’s a little acidic, but i have definitely shotgunned my share of BLLs. i think if you do a bunch they create a little more burn, but otherwise, i mean, it’s only something one has to suffer through for like 10 seconds.

  2. We’re just keepin’ it real here in the sud ouest with our appreciation of cheap BLL. Now knowing that there is a wine equivalent, I have my quest for the evening.

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