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The Appropriate Vanity-Concerning Aphorism is (i assume) on the Tip of My Tongue

i had a glass of goddamn prune juice with this, for god's sake
it is folly, i believe, to insist upon the separation of vanity from our enjoyment of food (pretend for a moment that this is à propos of anything). it may in fact be more honourable, and more tasteful to consider a meal solely on its own merits and not our associated private pretenses, but i’m having none of it.

i am instead having the experience of my already delicious dinner enhanced by the sense of moral superiority imparted by it also being tremendously healthy. i don’t intend to waste anyone’s time (oddly enough) prattling on about how i’m not a health snob (i’m not), but in fact a regular junk-food-loving joe (also inaccurate), and i don’t think one needs to atone for their garbage-eating in any self-flagellating fashion, but i have eaten nothing but (a surfeit of) cookies for the past eight hours, and precisely what i need right now is parsnip, rapini, and seeds.*

it be autumn right now and you all should make a point of not missing out on the cornucopia of hearty vegetable delights currently at your disposal.

and not only is this shit delicious, but you benefit psychologically from the shameless self satisfaction of enjoying bitter greens and stinky, pungent root vegetables. party on.

*why you should never come to me for recipes:

parsnips – peeled, sliced, boiled, mashed
rapini – thickest stalks removed, steamed (over the boiling parsnips)
walnuts & sunflower seeds – toasted (in oven. add the walnut seeds a couple minutes in, so’s they don’t burn)

seasoning: butter (in mash), olive oil, salt, pepper, squeeze of lemon juice.

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