i take it as a given that all and sundry can agree that the White Russian is a delightful drink, fit if not for heavy, oppressive summer weather (under which sweet creamy drinks tend to fair poorly), then for more or less every other forseeable clime and circumstance (including an air-conditioned and modernly decorated escape from the above heat), and thus i presume in a like fashion that most of you will be as pleased as i that i have finally resolved the problem posed by its offshoot, the White Russian On Vacation.
when i was a prodigious drinker of White Russians, i got it into my head that the name fairly cried out for variations upon the theme, and resigned to the reality that neither Russia nor the U.S.S.R. had much in the way of tropical colonial endeavours, and thus the White Russian’s Colonial Indiscretion was not going to take, i decided that the White Russian On Vacation would consist in a regular* White Russian with an oz or less of creme de banane.
unfortunately that would be totally disgusting because as we all know disgusting is the central property of creme de banane, and so it is with a mingling of chagrin (that it has taken so long) and pride (that it came at all) that i suggest as the new recipe for the WROV:
1 oz vodka
milk to taste
1/2 a frozen banana
blended! like a smoothie! is that not genius? just imagine how much less vile that would be than w/ creme de banane! it would be like good god a hybrid White Russian/Daiquiri; you could even, and probably should, add some ice to make it icy and refreshing in lieu of merely thick and creamy and slightly terrifying!
try this at home. results may vary.
on an inextricably related note, apparently They made a movie of Nabokov’s The Luzhin Defense (a prime literary example of a White [if rather swarthy, possibly jewish] Russian On Vacation if ever there was one) in 2001 featuring John Turturo no less! i wonder if it was good. i certainly hope so.
*apparently White Russian’s are “supposed” to be made with cream, and in considerably more equal-across-the-board proportions than i suggest, and i find the stuff awful and have been making for the entirety of my drinkin history vegan white russians, which work out fine barring the occasional ill wind which causes the vodka to curdle the soy milk and then the drinker to barf at even the sight if not the thought, let alone the taste of it. but vegan is fine. a lot of people seem not to realize that kahlua too is vegan already – being mostly coffee, rum and sugar.