product review

Truly Awful.

“what is it, a rolled up piece of WonderBread?”

why yes, basically.

i was honestly astonished this morning to discover that Second Cup’s croissants are still worse than Starbucks’, no mean feat, given that the latter bring to mind a donut than the flaky, delicate pastry that a croissant supposes to be.

and -that- i can even appreciate, on it’s own merits. if i want a big chain-cafe quality savoury donut for breakfast, i wouldn’t mind picking up a Starbucks’ croissant, but the Second Cups’ was truly, truly awful. for anyone who lives or has lived outside of Montreal or New York and knows what passes for a bagel thereabouts (ie: a round thing of tasteless bread), you can imagine this as the Bastard’s Bagel of Croissants.

i may have opened myself up for immediate criticism by even deigning to eat a pastry from Starbucks/Second Cub (although i do have a lingering impression of Second Cup being sort of the Poor Man’s Starbucks, as Dunkin’ is to Tim Horton’s Donuts [obviously the Islander in me drawing those battle lines, but bear with me]), but

a. i work downtown

b. there is a Starbucks -in- my place of work. literally 10 meters from where i stand. they’re very nice and sometimes give me free espresso.

c. a lot of people extend their very legitimate ethical shit-talking of such places automatically and uncritically into a shit-talking of the quality of their wares, without actually having eaten their wares, which is understandable, but a little like an intellectual cowardice. the fact is, Starbucks, for all their faults (ruining Bossa Nova, for example), can be relied upon for a consistently Pretty Good cup of coffee. i drink a lot of espresso, and that’s nothing to sniff at, when it’s not even uncommon to discover that some unnamed coffee shop or other (Shaika, ahem) doesn’t even use an espresso roast for their espresso. sheeit.

so what now do i do with this erring croissant? i’m torn between covering it with cheese in the hopes of at least elevating it to the status of “cheese vehicle,” and just using it to clean the sink.

am open to suggestions.

ps: had a second croissant from Au Pain Doré, and it was better, but still a little underwhelming. so far, the best i’ve found in the miserable centre-ville is MB&Co, on Stanley, mere metres from my work, but i can’t abide paying more than 2.00 for a goddamned croissant. fie on y’all.

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One thought on “Truly Awful.

  1. y. says:

    have you ever been to the croissanterie on st catherine’s and (i think) st marc? they have good espresso, and pretty decent croissants which the old man diligently rolls out himself every evening before closing. i think they’re cheap too, i don’t remember what a plain one costs, but you can get one with tomato, lettuce, mayo and cheese in it for 2.50.

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