resto oh oh

Ten Mourners with their Whiskers Blowing…

occasionally i think to myself “ah, i’ve really fucked right off with my restaurant reviews,” which i had originally envisioned as a goodly component of this site, but honestly and unfortunately, i really haven’t eaten anywhere of late that really felt worth talking about. disappointments abound, and while i do believe that  my hypothetical readership deserves to be warned off much of the mediocre and/or overpriced food this city has to offer, i don’t want to get into a rut of uninterrupted negativity. or rather, to erode with my deluge of scorn and dissatisfaction a rut in the landscape of blah blah blah.

i mean, it’s (not, admittedly) summer, for chrissakes.

but come on, City, surprise me!

(there are, obviously, a number of restaurants, personal favorites, in this city, that i could review favourably, but in their case the problem is that i don’t often feel effusive enough to do them justice)

on a positive note, the little café/juice bar next to Segal’s on St-Laurent makes their empanadas to order, which is both adorable and delicious, and only relegated to this passing mention because the only vegetarian option they have is straight cheese (chicken and beef being the alternatives). i am confident, however, that with little cajoling, i might be able to get some avocado tossed in their as well. 3ish bucks for a greasy, piping hot cornmeal pocket of something also greasy and hot is totally up my alley, particularly because even Chez Jose (whose comparatively bolder vision i appreciate) re-heats theirs in a microwave (please get your act together, it would take, like 5 minutes in the oven, and you -have- an oven. thanks for nothing).

on a negative note, Restaurant Thailande (88 Bernard O.) is overpriced and underremarkable. i’ve had more than one sucker rave to me about their food, but (admittedly, i haven’t tried any of their meat dishes, which shine, perhaps?) i found it to be not bad, but really just on par with any number of other Thai places (Talay Thai, Bangkok) that are cheaper and less fancy. perfectly acceptable, but given the extra few bucks per dish, i was hoping i was paying for more than just the ambiance (ie: waterfalls and gold napkins).

in their defence, they were very amenable to changes in the orders (such as No Fish Sauce for a table of 9), but in contrast, i find Bangkok’s absolute refusal to accommodate one’s picky white ass (“can i get that with no fish sauce?” “hmm…i’ll check. uhh, no.” “Less fish sauce?” “hmm…yeah, okay” [meaning no, clearly], along with the prominently displayed signs reading “We Are Not Responsible For The Spiciness Of The Dish YOU Ordered”) to be impressive and refreshing, and indicative of a certain pride and dedication to simple, traditional food preparation. feel free to take me to task for the implicit dehistoricizing exoticization of the above “traditional,” but i promise you that i will fight you, and even if you win (which by rights you should), it will be by all estimates (onlookers’ included) a most pyrrhic of victories.

it also helps that the restaurant is in a food court, making the deliciousness of the food and its accompanying Fuck You all that more enticing.

see le map for details.


3 thoughts on “Ten Mourners with their Whiskers Blowing…

  1. y. says:

    from working there i know chez jose really only uses their monster ovens for pastries and the churrasco chicken. it would be a huge waste of energy to light them on just for the empanadas, and they should probably just buy a small convection oven/toaster. if i was still welcome around those parts i’d tell em. but oh you know how i burn bridges.

    not a restaurant per say, but there’s this little gem polish grocery store/pastry shop in pt st charles (if it’s still there, i haven’t been in yonks) which has the best frozen perogies. try the cream cheese/strawberry, and the plain potato ones they had were vegan and fucking delicious. and their jarred borscht ain’t too shabby either.

  2. blue eyesk says:

    hey, chump.

    i believe a made to order, made of corn “empanada” would actually fal under “pupusa”, n’est-ce pas?

    speaking of which, you can get those, made to order, fresh and rad AND VEGAN (beans!) at this place on st zotique which i intend to re-discover really hard this summer (because it rulzz, not just because i am now a reluctant denizen of the “french plateau”).

    pupusas is the news empanada.

    you should cme eat them with me some time.

    • stillcrapulent says:

      naw brah, i know what it sounds like, but it was visibly identifiably an empanada, and also referred to as such, by the latina working there. and deep fried, not pan fried.

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