Because it will be Important to Know, Later.

ratwagon ˈræt ˈwægən

n 1. philosophical framework describing human existence in terms of riding in a wagon mounted on or in giant space rat that is both blind and insane, tearing through the cosmos blindly and insanely. existential options limited to being within the ratwagon, or without the ratwagon, which unfortunately is The Void. 2. a blind insane rat with a wagon in its back and wheels in lieu of hind legs.

the act whereby one seizes another person in a headlock, then runs around pouring beer on their head.

interjection (RATWAGON
!!!) slang –  what one exclaims while in the process of ratwagoning someone


3 thoughts on “Because it will be Important to Know, Later.

  1. jos says:

    i’m glad this exists for posterity, jonah. in years to come we might have found ourselves scratching our heads, wondering at the existence of rats-on-wheels patches, sloppy memories of summer two-fours in st henri and the lingering feeling of having fallen off something…

    were you staring into the ratwagon today? i know i was…

    what i actually came on here for was to impart this:

    “…Rising from my pages comes the unmistakable whiff of chutney. So let me obfuscate no further: I, Saleem Sinai, possessor of the most delicately-gifted olfactory organ in history, have dedicated my latter days to the large-scale preparation of condiments. But now, “A cook?” you gasp in horror, “A khansama merely? How is it possible?” And, I grant, such mastery of the multiple gifts of cookery and language are rare indeed; yet I possess it. […] And my chutneys and kasaundies are, after all, connected to my nocturnal scribblings – by day amongs the pickle vats, by night within these sheets, I spend my time at the great work of preserving. Memory, as well as fruit, is being saved from the corruption of the clocks.”

  2. john says:

    i completely forgot about the ratwagon. and after pouring beers all over friends heads on the weekend it…. it is almost providential timing that you have re-acquainted me with it. and now i re-enter… THE VOID. but seriously…. i recall this being such an amazing concept that it was completely reasonable on the ratwagon to get a ratwagon face tattoo. such is the nature of the beast.

  3. robin says:

    Some followers of this philosophy have also referred to a third existential option- to be on the reading rainbow: a rainbow that extends, wake-like behind the blind, insane ratwagon, which, on account of it being a rainbow, is easy to fall off of, and into The Void.

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