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How Have I Not Thought Of This Already?

it’s insane.

pages 104-105 of Ted Reader‘s King of the Q’s: Blue Plate BBQ, whereupon he substitutes for hamburger buns two grilled cheese sandwiches.

it’s so simple, so brilliant, it chagrins me to think that i didn’t come up with this myself. i mean, what have i been doing for the past 27 years? the answer, if you’re curious, is living a second-rate existence wherein i eat things that are not sandwiched between two  grilled cheese sandwiches.

but they also have bacon and grilled onion in them. in them. the external sandwiches. external? vestigial? how does one even call that. i’m suspicious it’s some manner of mise en abime. good god.

he also recommends using the burger-basting sauce (the “Ludicrous Beer Batter Basting Sauce,” comprised almost exclusively if Butter, BBQ Sauce, and a Can of Beer) for dipping. what a little king. a princely little king of a man.

so i’m gon’ do it. i mean, vegetarianly, and probably with sloppy joe for the first round, but you know, keep an eye out for me in the Totally Awesome Coronary ward.

also this: http://www.scarycheeseburger.com

scottish-deep-fried-cheeseburger

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4 thoughts on “How Have I Not Thought Of This Already?

  1. Mollery says:

    i like this idea so much. i also like the look of this fried burger contrapt, in spite of my initial confusion. anyway,
    i’m gonna eat it maybe tomorrow (the former).
    though it is a occurring to me now that it is just a reordering of the cheeseburger and will the taste really be affected by this “new order”?
    lastly, i wanted to ask your advice, veg and all:
    thai pizza, say peanut sauce, chicken, peppers – what about the cheese? plain mozza? goat or vealish? someone suggested NO cheese, but then i wouldn’t eat it.

    • stillcrapulent says:

      i think this AwesomePartyBurger is distinguished from the cheeseburger by two main aspects – first the presence of 4 separate layers of butter/margarine-coated fried bread, and second the capacity of the grilled cheese sandwhiches to keep the cheese hot and moist and liquidy in a way that the cheeseburger generally cannot.

      re: pizza, my first reaction would be to side with the cheese opponents on this one, just because cheese in general is a pretty alien element in thai food, and i was wary of the cheese-peanut sauce combination, but then i remembered that peanut or almond butter on any and all sandwhiches/burgers/wraps is amongst my favorite things in history.

      so i would probably go with something mild, like mozzarella, for a first go – maybe even a half-decent mozza in lieu of the usual grocery store brick style, so’s you sort of have blobs of melted mozzarella throughout in lieu of just carpet bombing the bastard. i’m also totally intrigued by the goat cheese possibility, because the tartness just might work.

      you’ve gotta tell me how this works out.

  2. MSL says:

    this has nothing to do with the sandwich sandwich, but once when dustin and i were walking home from the bar i bought him 3 mcDs grilled cheeses to soak up his insides. he ate two then threw them up, and so when we got back to his girlfriend’s house i tucked the third under his pillow before i crashed on the couch.

    in the morning (late afternoon) he woke up and found it, and without a word walked to the toaster, unwrapped it, and toasted it. it was still good (as good as a grilled cheese from macdonalds was ever gonna get), and it was ready to go in under a minute.

    someone ought to get on making these for kids to take to school.

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